My next post was to have been about what I have come to realize about Male-Female interactions since my recent trip to mobay, but Today I heard something on Zip that has made me realize a fear I have.
Today on ZIP all the ZipJocks spoke about their fathers, and most of them Iether did not know him, hated him, or they had lived in broken homes. At the end of the programm I was at first ashamed. Then I was saddened and a bit angered, and then I felt fear.
I Feard that if I had children it could happen that some day that , my Daughter or Son could go somewhere and talk about how I abandoned them, how they hate me or were indifferent to my existence.
Its hard to explain how much this trully affected me, I have pledged in my heart that I will never abandon any child of mine, that my wife shall lack nothing, but in the back of my mind I know that some of these men thought the same at my age, and then I realize that all I can do is pray that when whatever trial comes that may make me want to think along such lines,I will be strong.
I have learned not to judge people, there are 2 sides to every story, I am not giving excuses, but life has taught me never to say it will never happen, cause things look diff depending on whos shoe your in. That, I have learned the hard way. An option is to never get married, but the jury is still out on that, there are many pros and cons to that story, that we wont get into here.
In any case fathers are scarce today, and I find that the ones who are there do get underappreciated sometimes. I called my father this morning, but being "mucho" and all that, I never expressed totally in words how greatfull I am for his being there, I figure he understands what I mean.
Anyway got to run. Till next time.