Sunday, April 30, 2006

Extremely important advice (Not Original but important enough)

Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives,

girlfriends, fianc├ęs, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in

general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in

June/July this year...



LIST OF RULES



1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the

newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup,

and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to

do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally

ignored DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.



2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any

exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose

it (your eye).



3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as

long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you

decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right

after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the

doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.



4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a

refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you

expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up

the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.



5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the

fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do

not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the

games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am,

unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.



6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is

losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll

win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I

will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football

than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a

break up or divorce.



7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me

during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the

halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one"

game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time

together".



8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen

them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.



9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related

parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:

a) I will not go,

b) I will not go, and

c) I will not go.



10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a

game, we will be there in a flash.



11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as

important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you

have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we

can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".



12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World

Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this

comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League,

etc etc.



Thank you for your cooperation.



Regards,



Men of the World

Thursday, April 27, 2006

DELVELOPER HIT-LIST

I figure My follow IT professionals out there will understand why I need to do this.
This is a list of all the development teams who have produced Programs that have driven me to the point of wanting to kill them.

1. Microsoft Development Team for All Microsoft Products
2. Oracle DBMS for forgetting the concept of programs being User friendly
3. Dameware Developers for a constantly kicking me off ppls computers in the middle of critical operations.



This currently Is my top three at the moment
The teams on the list may be shifted depending on my mood on any given day. I must note that Microsoft holds a permanent seat on the top of this list however, As my co-worker puts it, they force us into a love hate relationship.Even though they provide the most user friendly products on the market, THEY NEVER WORK consistently.

In any case, till the next update this has been the first Installment of the DEVELOPER HIT LIST, shutdown commencing.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Note To Self

This is an exerpt from a discussion I had with a freind:

------------------------------------------------------------

freind says:
we are having parent consultation tomorrow
freind says:
but mi sure sey di parents who me waan talk to, not coming anywhere
The Seeker says:
zeen
The Seeker says:
sticky
The Seeker says:
why ?
freind says:
because thats how it is
freind says:
the parents of the good students will come but the other no come dem some'n deh

------------------------------------------------------------

Note To Self: Should I ever come to have children be proactive in taking an intrest in their education

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Another Disturbance in the Force

The Greate Jedi Master Steve Jobs has once again caused significant Ripples in the Force.

Recently It was announced that soon Apple Computers would be able to run (*** insert darth vader theme Music here ***) MS Windows.

The South American Revolution (part 1)

HUGO CHAVEZ (intro)

Who is this guy? Hero, Visionary, Delusional, Idealist or Realist. There are many words to describe this man, and I have yet to pass my verdict on him. His radical belief in turning back to the path of ‘Socialism’ has many in the international community very antsy.
Fortunately for him Venezuela has oil, and as a result they cannot be treated lightly. As a result I do believe the US will eventually take steps to remove him from power.

Now, those of you who have been listening to me ramble of late would have heard me mention from time to time that I am becoming, or rather, I have become very disenfranchised with the Capitalistic system.
Watching Hugo Chavez at work I feel like we are back in the days of the Feudal system where the proletariat were beginning to rebel against the poor distribution of wealth between themselves and the bourgeoisie. I have to admit, capitalism is much better than Feudalism as it allows for some upward mobility. The truth is, however, this is extremely limited, and it does not change that fact that the distribution of wealth is as skewed as ever.
Now we’re having obscenely rich and poor, only difference there is a larger collection of people who fit in the Middle group.

We are fast approaching a time where there will be a shift in ‘Social Systems’ and whether or not Mr. Chavez is going to lead the charge is yet to be seen. In fact whether or not ‘Socialism’ or even if the dreaded “Communism” will be the path to take is still to be decided. The sad part is, this ‘revolution’ may die quite quickly. Even though throughout South America the Proletariat are making their voices heard via democratic means. As the President Of Bolivia pointed out, the real power and money still lies with the Wealthy, Governments can’t do it alone. All have to work together and it is clear that that will be unlikely.