Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Christ like?

I have always looked at with a little envy at those people have a driving passion for Christ. Those people who will go to church every day of the week and be glad they did. To them it is only a mild sacrifice.

Growing up with a father and 2 uncles as pastors it I have learned such fervor would have made my life much easier. I look at my parents and to an extent my siblings, and find myself wishing to feel as passionately about it as they feel.

What I am most passionate about is pan, going to practice 3 days a week is not a sacrifice. Actually it’s more like a break. Like I told a friend a few years ago, pan provides for me an outlet, a chance to relax and de-stress.

For many years I used to pray & hope that a mirror of my passion for pan would find somehow find its way into my spiritual life, but alas that has not been the case.

Interestingly enough, there has been an individual who has entered an integral part of my life that has taught me a large part of ones Christian walk is sacrifice. This is a hard concept to adapt simply because I am a very lazy person and sacrifice requires discipline. Quite often I am fascinated to see how easy it is for me to make it to work almost every Sunday, yet finding my way to church once a month requires a Herculean effort.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a workaholic, far from it, I just happen to like what I do.

Now I am at a point where growth with respect to my spiritual life is at a crawl, and it seems almost impossible to work up the energy to get it to move any faster.


Kaschief said...

Evidently there are many things not being said. Firstly, what is 'pan'? Secondly, what is it about this 'individual who has entered an integral part of [your] life"? Who is this individual and what happened after that? (The suspense mounts!)

Frankly, for me, Church is something I do not foresee in my blood stream. For me, like you, a Herculean effort would have to be called for. Not to say it will be effective. It probably wont. No, I don't hate church. It's just not a 'good' thing for me right now. How oxymoronic!!!

It's nice that you grew up with a father and 2 uncles deeply rooted in the Church. Or is it? One would believe that some religious Church-going genes would have been passed on to you. If, at least not with the great effect of making you go, but with an effect of making you go less reluctantly.

And...workaholic anonymous..what is it you "happen to like" that you do? What's your job?

Rae said...

Kaschief, u crack me up! Hold ur horses there buddy... just MAYBE the man doesn't want his ENTIRE personal life on his blog.

But let me help u with one... 'pan' is a cult (don't worry, I'm only kidding... partially)... it's a steelpan orchestra.

The Seeker said...

HA HA HA Rae, Very funny
It is not a cult.

Pan is actually UWI's Steel band, Panoridim, a really cool set of ppl (of which Rae is also apart)

Mummy Mel` said...

While there's no substitute for actually going to church and interacting with other members, small steps are certainly possible. Make a start by reading daily devotinoals and spending even 15minutes- half hour each day in prayer. Remember change comes from inside out. It'll be a while before even you start to see results .

bassChocolate said...

I can relate. All it means is that you don't have your priorities right. I don't bother sugar-coating it as it relates to me; I could complain about the early hour that church begins or how I'm too tired to read my Bible before bedtime, but the reality is I get up early in the mornings for work and I stay up late watching TV. So when I find myself not fulfilling my Spiritual obligations (whihc happens far too often these days), I know just who to blame.

I hope you find the will and motivation to straighten your priorities.

laroper18 said...

It's funny how the "right" thing is the harder choice to make. One may say God has a sense of humour, or He just makes living interesting.

Jim Screechy said...

Correction: UWI steel pan IS a cult and also an excuse to have sexual encounters with less than attractive desperate individuals who follow the beat of their onw steel pan- no pun intended (inside individual has sworn to this)

When this individual requests you start giving up your Cable show must-see's, in order to follow Christ, then that's when you need them to "get to steppin"


reluctant intellectual said...

I'm going through a similar situation. For a long time now going to church has required Herculean effort for me because it hadn't been fulfilling any of what I feel are most important needs, not even the spiritual ones. I could justify my absence by pointing out (quite rightly) that going to church doesn't make me a Christian. One of the things that does is loving God; and if I love God, I have to obey Him. And He DOES say we should "not forsake the gathering of the brethren," i.e. church. I guess you need to ask yourself: do I love God? (not the church, not any particlar notion of religiousness, or any of the man-made trappings that go along with it - these are irrelevant). And the question that follows is: what am I gonna do about it?

Hmm...I think I better drag my sorry ass to church (smile). BTW, kudos to your friend, whose faith is strong enough to impact those around her. It's a horrible feeling to feel like your faith is so lifeless it doesn't even get noticed.