Sunday, April 30, 2006

Extremely important advice (Not Original but important enough)

Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives,

girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in

general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in

June/July this year...


1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the

newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup,

and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to

do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally

ignored DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any

exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose

it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as

long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you

decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right

after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the

doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a

refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you

expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up

the baby that just fell from the second wont happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the

fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do

not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the

games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am,

unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is

losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll

win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I

will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football

than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a

break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me

during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the

halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one"

game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time


8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen

them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related

parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:

a) I will not go,

b) I will not go, and

c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a

game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as

important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you

have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we

can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World

Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this

comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League,

etc etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.


Men of the World


dorna! said...

And if she's a footie fan as well?

The Seeker said...

Then this doesnt apply :D.

Sweet Simone said...

this surely does not apply to the girl that will wake up just to see a 3:00 am match during world cup season which also happened to be exam season :D Men be warned! cause u won't find this girl getting up to give u a drink during the match, GET IT YOURSELF!