Monday, July 04, 2005

Letting Go?

This an unfinished poem from a very troubled freind of mine. Tell me what you think,
Not sure I agree with the last part though.
And Dont worry, they dont mind me putting it up, they just wanted feedback.


To release something that you never realized you held on to
Removes a burden you never knew you carried
And now, that you are able to walk straighter,
u ask, is life that much greater?
For no matter how much you try to fool yourself
And deny how it feels
There is always something there, nagging
That never seems to heal
So on we try to move with our lives
And from the truth we sometimes try to hide
But soon u learn what they say is not quite true
That Time heals all, that’s just poo
For what it really is,
Is the ability for you to face,
the hurt of the memory and still go through the day.

2 comments:

Thinkbass said...

Yeah - been there, done that. time doesn't necesarily heal or make it less (we could branch nto the whole concept of repressed memories). Sometimes you just have to chum it up and realize that it did hurt yu and yu haffi suck it and move on. Easier said (written ) than done.

Yeah this poem is kinda close to home - the whole face the truth part took a while. Oh well.

Ok, now for the feedback:
While rhyming is no longer needed in a poem, if u gonna use it, use it right. Or maybe that was the point. (Hard to ctritique a poem w/out knowing the person sometimes)

A few of the lines are abrupt, some too long and a few make u have to reread.

Altogether: not bad.

bassChocolate said...

I don't think there's any one way of recovering from past situations; sometimes you learn to deal and perhaps other times it's far more difficult. But it many cases it's possible to leave the hurt behind, especially if there's a real yearning to move on.